I went bridesmaid dress shopping again today and here is the exact dress I will be wearing, it was brought from a shop but I won’t tell you exactly where as it’s giving away quite a lot of my confidentiality! If you’re really desperate to know then contact me privately.
Anyway, I am quite annoyed with the size I required which is a US 8. I was borderline crying in the shop as my sister and cousin both needed a US 0 and the maid of honour needing a US 2. I could see their judging eyes as the US 6 didn’t go up. I could see my grandma thinking ‘why aren’t you as thin as the rest?’ Literally one of the worst things I have had to experience. I can’t carry on like this, can I? I cannot believe that I am 4 sizes in US bigger than they are? It’s not possible surely. It has made me so depressed which will probably end up in me eating more. No! It can’t. A family member also had the cheek to say “oh this doesn’t mean you are going to go on a crash diet now is it?” Thanks for that. Did I really need you to say that? Maybe I will now because I sure as hell need to, clearly.
We went out to lunch later on and I refused chips and had a diet coke and whilst everyone else munched away I could hardly eat mine. I did though.
When I got home, I burst into tears whilst talking to my mum about it. She says she understands because she was the same and said about how beautiful I am but when I protested she said “I don’t really know what to say.” Is that because she knows I’m right? She KNOWS I need to lose weight and the only way I am going to go about it properly is by moving out and getting into a strict routine.
My Dad had a go at me saying that I had shape and men like this. Well where is my boyfriend then Dad because I don’t see anyone looking to be with me? Exactly.
I think the only way I am going to properly do this is to start eating the same foods everyday. I could have some variation with dinner but for breakfast and lunch I need to be having the same thing every day. I have realised that my body needs a minimum of 400kcal to get from the morning when I wake up to 5.00pm in the evening. I want to eat my dinner quite early so I can also go to bed early. 400kcal is not a lot. I really enjoy eating fruit when I first get up so I think this will be a good choice for me. I could always do raw till 4? Or partial raw till 4.
I could eat 100kcal for breakfast at whenever I wake up so either early like 8am or later at 9am. Then another 100kcal around 11am. Another 100kcal at 1pm and a further 100kcal at 3pm. All ready for dinner at 5/6pm. I will try this tomorrow (14/09/14) and tell you how I get on.