Bridesmaid Dresses

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Hello lovelies,

I went bridesmaid dress shopping again today and here is the exact dress I will be wearing, it was brought from a shop but I won’t tell you exactly where as it’s giving away quite a lot of my confidentiality! If you’re really desperate to know then contact me privately.

Anyway, I am quite annoyed with the size I required which is a US 8. I was borderline crying in the shop as my sister and cousin both needed a US 0 and the maid of honour needing a US 2. I could see their judging eyes as the US 6 didn’t go up. I could see my grandma thinking ‘why aren’t you as thin as the rest?’ Literally one of the worst things I have had to experience. I can’t carry on like this, can I? I cannot believe that I am 4 sizes in US bigger than they are? It’s not possible surely. It has made me so depressed which will probably end up in me eating more. No! It can’t. A family member also had the cheek to say “oh this doesn’t mean you are going to go on a crash diet now is it?” Thanks for that. Did I really need you to say that? Maybe I will now because I sure as hell need to, clearly.

We went out to lunch later on and I refused chips and had a diet coke and whilst everyone else munched away I could hardly eat mine. I did though.

When I got home, I burst into tears whilst talking to my mum about it. She says she understands because she was the same and said about how beautiful I am but when I protested she said “I don’t really know what to say.” Is that because she knows I’m right? She KNOWS I need to lose weight and the only way I am going to go about it properly is by moving out and getting into a strict routine.

My Dad had a go at me saying that I had shape and men like this. Well where is my boyfriend then Dad because I don’t see anyone looking to be with me? Exactly.

I think the only way I am going to properly do this is to start eating the same foods everyday. I could have some variation with dinner but for breakfast and lunch I need to be having the same thing every day. I have realised that my body needs a minimum of 400kcal to get from the morning when I wake up to 5.00pm in the evening. I want to eat my dinner quite early so I can also go to bed early. 400kcal is not a lot. I really enjoy eating fruit when I first get up so I think this will be a good choice for me. I could always do raw till 4? Or partial raw till 4.

I could eat 100kcal for breakfast at whenever I wake up so either early like 8am or later at 9am. Then another 100kcal around 11am. Another 100kcal at 1pm and a further 100kcal at 3pm. All ready for dinner at 5/6pm. I will try this tomorrow (14/09/14) and tell you how I get on.

Jessicana xo

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End of Day Ten

Daily Updates

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I apologise for the lateness of this blog post and the following ones, I am trying to catch up with all of my days missed and I said I would do daily updates which I am doing but just not on the day- ahh I’m so sorry! I’ll get wifi on wednesday and from then on the posts will be more frequent and I’ll do some other random posts that I have been planning on doing for a while!

So this myfitnesspal is for 08/09/14. It was ok, I was under 1,200 but not as good as I want. I had no time to exercise unfortunately. This was the day that I felt quite faint whilst at university.

Breakfast- nectarine 70kcal, raspberries 20kcal.

Total: 90kcal.

Lunch: Apple 52kcal, 4x krackawheat 132kcal, lighter clover 32kcal.

Total: 216kcal.

Dinner: Vegetarian stirfry 400kcal, frozen fruit 140kcal.

Total: 540kcal.

Snacks: Babybell light 42kcal, Icing 204kcal, plum 40kcal, 4x mints 40kcal.

Total: 326kcal.

Overall Total: 1,172kcal.

Personal recent events

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When I first began this blog a week ago, I decided that I wasn’t going to talk about this part of my motivation on it, but due to the fact I want to be honest with all of you and discuss all aspects of my motivation with the world, so that you too can get motivated and get those bodies that you have ALWAYS wanted, I am going to.

I was dating someone for a while and we made it exclusive. He’d recently come out of a long term relationship and being aware of this, I made sure that he was going to be honest about contact with his ex and that he was ready for a new relationship. He persuaded me and convinced me that he was ready and even told me he loved me?? I should have realised that he said ALL of it to just get into my pants and it worked. I have never been so frustrated and annoyed at myself when he called it off on the day I returned home from uni. But what could I do? What’s done is done and I can’t do anything now. Or can I?

That’s where my motivation comes in. Although he told me his reasons for calling it off, I can’t help but wonder if I did something wrong. I don’t think I did but I guess I’ll never know. This picture with a quote sums up some of my motivation. I can’t say he treated me wrongly exactly but he did hurt me and I want him to regret it! To regret it as much as I regret having sex with him.

Jessicana xo

Foods I never eat (and haven’t done in over a year)

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I just thought I would share with you all of the foods that I used to eat on a regular basis but have now cut almost completely.

1. White bread

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I never EVER eat white bread unless I have no other options.The only ever time I do is when I eat garlic bread or when I was in france, I ate an inch of white french baguette. This is such a change as I used to eat at least 2 (sometimes 4) slices of white bread DAILY. Can you imagine what this did to my body? Not only would it go straight to my fat stores but also contributes to cholesterol build up in my arteries. Nope, I am not eating it.

2. White pasta

fotolia_5739841_XS whole_wheat_pasta

I do not eat white pasta. I made a simple change to wholewheat and if I am really being healthy it will be vegan too.

3. Milk

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I understand 100% that babies and young children (and animals) need milk, however adults don’t and I refuse to eat it knowing what is in it. I rarely drink normal tea and coffee too and if I do, I drink it black. Green tea FTW!

4. Butter

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I stopped eating pure butter years ago partly because I hate the taste. I only ever eat it when it is in other things like cake, if I ever eat it, or it’s in a certain dinner.

5. Cheddar cheese

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I never eat cheddar cheese any more. I used to eat cheese everyday on toast for lunch but now I never even buy it for myself. I only ever eat it when it is in a meal, for example at a restaurant.

6. Squash

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I never drink squash. My reason for this is due to my not liking its taste and also the additional calories. Why drink squash when you can drink water for 0 calories and I personally prefer the taste and freshness of a cold glass of water.

7. Peanut butter/Jams (and NEVER together)

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I never eat peanut butter or jams because they are FULL of sugar and fat. That piece of bread there is probably over 200 calories and won’t fill you up for more than an hour!

8. Hot chocolates

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You might as well eat a bar of chocolate- it’ll have the same calories!

9. Dried raisins/sultanas

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These mislead me for years, I thought they were healthy and I’d eat copious amounts. They’re actually full of sugar and I would rather not eat them.

10. Cereal/Cereal bars

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I don’t care what cereal it is, every single bowl of it is around 250-300 (with milk) calories and it is pure carbohydrate and fat. Don’t listen to anyone that tells you that 250-300 calories is ok for breakfast unless you are a VERY athletic/busy person. Breakfast shouldn’t be more than 200, for my body type anyway.

I know sometimes it is hard to resist and not eat these foods but just think of the health benefits. You’ll look and feel amazing, you just have to try.

Good luck!

Jessicana xo

End of Day Six

Daily Updates

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Back at university today everyone! Moved into my new house and it is amazing.

I don’t have wifi at the moment and I don’t know when I will be next able to post but I will post this when I do even though it may no longer be the 04/09/14. I didn’t realise how much I rely on this blogging until I couldn’t do it and so I will be trying my best to continue posting and continue with my motivation.

Today was a pretty good day! I was super busy and even fit in my exercise.

So here is my daily update for 04/09/14:

Breakfast: 1 trebor mint 10kcal.

Total: 10kcal.

Lunch: 3x fish fingers 162kcal, ketchup 21kcal, 1x Jaffa cake 46kcal.

Total: 229kcal.

Tea: REALLY BAD WENT TO AN ALL YOU CAN EAT CHINESE BUFFET BECAUSE IT WAS ONLY £6.99!! I have estimated what I had and the total is around 756kcal which isn’t too bad.

Total: 756kcal

Dessert: 0kcal

Total: 0kcal.

Snacks: blueberrys 34kcal, nectarine 70kcal, strawberry and banana smoothie 65kcal, green tea 0kcal.

Total: 170kcal.

Exercise: overall 5km burnt 301kcals.

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Water 1.5litres

Overall input for today is: 1,165 food- 301 exercise= 864kcal which is good!
Even if the Chinese was more than that it wouldn’t be 400 more and so I would still be okay- yay.

Jessicana xo

Raw till Four

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLwUd5KtYONsRJ3UAOojZ0w

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Just an introduction to freelee the banana girl. She is famous on all forms of social media including youtube, instagram and facebook for her self-proclaimed amazing raw till 4 diet. This means that she can only eat raw fruits and veggies until 4 in the afternoon, then she will eat a cooked dinner of some form of carbohydrate and veggies. She is a vegan and many of her videos aim to educate people on the harsh realities of eating meat and dairy products.

Now, I myself am not a vegan nor do I do this Raw till 4 diet (yet- I may try it one day), but I do like watching her motivational videos to get fit! Her vlogs are my favourites and find her most inspirational. Some of her views/ideas are controversial but I think that’s what makes her great and her body shows the results of the diet.

Yesterday (03/09/14) I attempted the raw till four diet for the first time. I found it great, but I didn’t eat anywhere near the portion sizes that she chooses to eat daily. My body doesn’t need it and that’s where mine and her bodies differ. I do agree with her on many things surrounding the dairy industry and since watching her video on milk and how it is actually a form of pus- I now, NEVER drink it. I took a sip of it by accident, thinking it was a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and spat it out. That’s how much I don’t like it. I will do another blog tomorrow on what food I used to eat all the time and now never do.

Yesterday was in fact the first time I have eaten a banana in over a year! As I am aware of many differing views surrounding them, I never knew whether to eat them or not. Freelee raves about them, I am not so keen/sure. What’re your views?

Jessicana xo

Twenty of my favourite healthy foods

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Just in time for lunch/snack time for you lovely people, here are some of my favourite healthy meals and snacks:

1. Corn on the cob

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2. Veggie bean burger with salad (without the bread, of course- you don’t need it)

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3. Roasted sweet potato (add a bit of pepper and garlic for more flavour- I also spray mine with fry-light which is 1kcal per spray and stops them from drying out)

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4. Matzo crackers (add anything you want- avoid cheese and fat-laden sauces though)

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5. Asparagus (add a tiny bit of salt to the water)

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6. Mango (I love this trick for cutting them)

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7. Low fat greek yogurt with honey (a tsp)

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8. Vegetables with hummus (chilli flavoured is especially delicious!)

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9. Green tea (especially with lemon)

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10. Apple (sometimes nothing beats it!)

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11. Strawberries (were once my all time favourite food)

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12. Chicken stir fry with noodles (just go careful on the salt, oil and portion size!)

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13. Dark chocolate (personally, I refuse to believe any chocolate is healthy but due to dieticians claims I have put it in because who can resist ‘healthy’ chocolate?)

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14. Grilled chicken

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15. Baked Salmon (I used to hate all fish, now I love it)

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16. Cashew nuts (Eat in MODERATION- no more than 6 at a time)

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17. Chicken and chickpea curry (no rice)

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18. Smoothies (personally, any flavour except coconut- gross)

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19. Kiwis (you might think this disgusting but I eat the skin too- it’s an excellent source of fibre, if you can stand the hairiness)

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20. Glass of Ice Water (the number ONE)

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So make sure you add these (or their ingredients) to your next shopping list.

Jessicana xo

End of Day Five

Daily Updates

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Today was my worst day so far but I will not give up. I could’ve made it a lot better by eating less during the day and exercising but I wanted to recover my knee 100%. I will exercise tomorrow. The problem was it was one of my friend’s birthday and we went out for dinner at Prezzo.

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I found it hard to stick to my 1,200 food limit and hence, I was over. I’m pretty gutted, however I should continue to lose weight on this amount, just a less amount. I was quite pleased at myself for being able to keep it this low. I don’t really enjoy going out to eat and really try to avoid it at all costs, I hate the idea that food is the only thing that can bring people together. Pathetic. This is why I hate restaurant dates and will always avoid them. They also have extortionate prices on all their meals compared to making it at home with your own ingredients- a spaghetti bolognaise for £10.50, are you serious? I could make 50 spaghetti bolognaises for that price.

 Anyway, here is my update of my rubbish day of the 03/09/14 as I will continue to show all of my progress- both ups and downs:

Breakfast: nectarine 70kcal, green tea 1kcal.

Total: 71kcal.

Lunch: Blueberries 53kcal, banana 100kcal, strawberry and banana aldi smoothie 55kcal.

Total: 208kcal.

Tea: Half a Prezzo garlic bread (no cheese) 140kcal, 3/4 of a prosciutto ham and asparagus flatbread (again, no cheese) 416kcal, diet coke 0kcal.

Total: 556kcal.

Dessert: Chocolate Profiteroles 400kcal.

Total: 400kcal.

Snacks: white chocolate 60kcal, cooked ham 22kcal, mint 10kcal, cranberry juice 72kcal.

Total:164kcal.

No exercise

1.5litres water.

So, as you can see I messed up but I am not that bothered because tomorrow is a new day and I am a young woman who is going to go out for dinner every now and again and I was pretty good for ordering a zero calorie drink, sharing a garlic bread and eating less than 3/4 of my pizza as I didn’t eat the crusts- I didn’t get mozzarella on my pizza either which probably reduced about 200kcal from it.

As I was going to bed tonight, my mum said “I’m worrying about you, you’re so slim and beautiful.” I disagreed and asked why she was worrying. She said “You’ve lost weight on your face, it is looking more defined.” HALLELUJAH! If I have lost weight on my face, I am delighted. It means this diet is WORKING.

However, she is my mum and she sometimes says things like this, just to stop me from losing weight. AND there is something key she said there. I’m so ‘slim’. What is slim? It’s not fat and it’s not thin either. I HATE SLIM. It’s a stupid word and I don’t want to be it. I will continue until I am THIN. She can worry about me then.

I will weigh myself tomorrow and see what it’s like. I will also exercise.

Jessicana xo

Thinspo/Inspiration Randomer

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I recently stumbled up this picture on pinterest. I cannot believe how thin her stomach is. She is sat down and it’s so flat. Regardless of the stupid duck face she is pulling, she has an amazing body. If I could ever get a body like this, I would never be unhappy. I would be so confident in my body.

I will continue to wish and WORK for it! Lets do this.

Jessicana xo

End of Day Four

Daily Updates

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Hello lovelies,

I had an ok day today, I woke up this morning and my knee was ceased up and incredibly painful from the exercise I have been doing and so I was forced to have a day off. I was craving going on the treadmill (yes I know-mad!). Unfortunately this means I have not burnt any of the calories I have eaten.

Here is my myfitnesspal update for the 02/09/14:

Breakfast: 0kcal.

Total: 0kcal.

Lunch: Cooked ham 28kcal, 4x aldi gourmet sea salt crackers 95kcal, creamy horseradish sauce 30kcal, roast beef 29kcal, coleslaw 50kcal, shredded beetroot 34kcal and cucumber 8kcal.

Total: 274kcal.

Tea: Thai green curry 300kcal (approx.), white rice 200kcal, mango chutney 15kcal.

Total: 515kcal.

Dessert: Strawberry and banana smoothie 55kcal, white chocolate 119kcal.

Total: 174kcal.

Snacks: 2x green tea 2kcal, 2x raspberries 4kcal, nectarine 70kcal, cranberry juice 46kcal

Total: 122kcal.

0 exercise

Fluid: 2litres

Overall intake is +1,085 which is awful compared to what I have been doing and is by far the worst day. I really need to get back onto my exercise regime and hopefully I will do tomorrow. Unfortunately I am going out to eat tomorrow which will be interesting to see if I can still be under 1,200kcal. It should be ok as long as I am extremely careful in the day and eat next to nothing.

Today I went shopping for things for university and anything else I wanted. I went into New Look and bought this white jumper:

http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/knitwear/white-ribbed-knit-jumper-_321382010

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I was delighted to find that the 12 was overly large and so I bought a 10 that looks really nice. I went into the changing room and tried it on and when I took my clothes off and looked at myself in the mirror, I didn’t get as repulsed as I normally do! I actually thought my stomach was quite flat. Happy happy.

Jessicana xo