End of Day Twenty-One

Daily Updates

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Hello everyone, I think I’m going to stop apologising for these always being late as I’m sure the majority of you know that trying to post things everyday is very demanding on life, especially now that I am in lectures 9-4 most days. Just know that I continuously log my food throughout the day, regardless of my posting- it has become quite an obsession and yesterday when my phone didn’t work, I found it really hard to eat and not track what I was eating.

Now that I am twenty-one days into my lifestyle change, I realise that in the last few days, myself and other people have been noticing me. I have had comments like “You look so thin from the back”, “are you eating?” and “you’re definitely going to pull tonight”. These are all comments that I never used to get. Never have I been asked if I am not eating before, totally out of context? I think it’s a compliment, especially as I am eating as you can see from my hideous day yesterday which I will explain now.

Yesterday, was one of my worst days of my lifestyle change so far for many reasons. Firstly, I had a splitting headache for the majority of the day and I am not sure why. It could have potentially been due to my low blood sugar, a lack of water intake or perhaps heat or stress. I realise now that my coping strategy when I get a headache is to eat! I ate so much and as we were going out clubbing in the evening, I had a **** it approach to food and yesterday was the first time I felt this, my guilt left me.

Secondly, I drank alcohol prior to going out and around forty-five minutes into it I felt an overwhelming sense of despair and sadness. I felt that it was pointless me going out, pointless me even still being awake, I decided I hated clubs and just wanted to go to bed. I sat there, staring into space with my friends asking what was wrong when I finally blurted out ‘there’s something wrong with me’. Now. I am not sure where this has come from but for the past week or so now, I have felt quite depressed. I have not struggled with the lack of eating- like I used to when I experienced dieting before, I have often found myself going from completely normal and happy to sadness the next, in a split second- like a mood swing? A total change of personality, perhaps due to my Gemini horoscope- no.

I ended up staying in, eating ice-cream and chocolate and then going to bed at 11pm. How awful. I cried to my other house mates and to myself in the bathroom. My other house mates think I’m under a lot of pressure and I don’t have to go out all the time. I definitely don’t enjoy meeting guys in clubs, it is NOT my thing and I guess it is hard when everyone else is doing this and it’s seen as the norm. I just don’t like it, I see it as pointless and pretty disgusting to be honest. Don’t get me wrong, if you do it that’s fine- I have done it in the past three times or so, so I completely understand but after having had a recent boyfriend I just don’t want to do it. The dancing is fun and staying up late is fun but the drinking alcohol and kissing boys is not. I went out sober before and that’s probably the best night I had out! I think that’s what I’m going to do.

 This is post is now quite long and personal so I apologise for that! I just felt like I needed to get some things off my chest. My friends also think I’m depressed and wonder where the old me has gone. It’s seriously getting me down.

I don’t think that my lifestyle change/diet is the cause of these issues, I think it just coincidentally happened at the same time, because I feel amazing and can feel the difference in thinness on my waist and on my thighs and I’m not stopping, regardless of this bad day.

Here is my update for 20/09/14:

Breakfast: Frozen raspberries 22kcal, frozen mango chunks 65kcal.

Total: 87kcal.

Lunch: Large raw carrot 52kcal, tesco low fat houmous 90kcal, cherry bakewell tart 215kcal.

Total: 357kcal.

Tea: Vegetarian Bean Burger 225kcal, Brown rice 80kcal, Frozen sweetcorn 115kcal.

Total: 420kcal.

Snacks: Milk Chocolate square 54kcal, Spearmint chewing gum 7kcal, Tesco profiteroles 170kcal, malt fruit loaf 174kcal, club fruit chocolate bar 118kcal, 1 krackawheat 34kcal, ice cream eton mess 150kcal, wispa chocolate bar 167kcal, Cherry Sourz alcohol 309kcal, Raspberry Cidre 190kcal.

Total: 1,373kcal. (I forgot 2 more krackawheats- +68kcal.)= 1441kcal.

Overall total input: 2,305kcal.

I did walk probably two miles or so today but I am not including that as it doesn’t matter. What matters is how awful today was! Over 2,300 kcals! Oh well, today I will have a fast and drink lots of water, perhaps go swimming too. I might go swimming but do all easy stroke- breast stroke. Haha.

Jessicana xo

End of Day Seventeen

Daily Updates

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Hey lovelies,

I am finally getting up to date with my blogging woo! I’m writing this the day after I did it so I’m almost there, I’ll be getting wifi on Wednesday so then I’ll be more religious with it, honest! I am seventeen days into my journey and I can honest say there is a change! I weighed myself this morning and I am 10st 10lbs which is so so good for me, I haven’t been this in years and I’m not stopping now. I can’t quite believe I’m actually losing weight!

I’m living with two of my university friends this year and they’ve come with a very healthy, fit attitude to life and one girl has previously lost a lot of weight so she is an ‘expert’ or so she claims. I’m not going to let her govern me though as I know what works for me. She uses weight watchers and I don’t want to use the products as they often have more calories than the substitute foods! Also I watched her eat three biscuits this evening because she hadn’t eaten all of her points worth during the day- surely if you’re no hungry you shouldn’t eat? Just my opinion. She also wants to document our weight losses but I don’t want to. I am the heaviest and I’m just not doing it.

I thought it would be great to live with people keen on a healthy lifestyle but I’m now feeling pressure which I really don’t want and I don’t think will help my weight loss but we’ll see.

Anyway here is my update for yesterday (15/09/14):

Breakfast: 4x krackawheats 136kcal (these were actually eaten throughout the day to stop hunger, I ate two for breakfast).
Total: 136kcal.

Lunch: fruit cake 280kcal, gala apple 52kcal.
Total: 332kcal.

Tea: veggie tesco bean burger 225kcal, brown rice 216kcal, cherry tomato 16kcal, cucumber 8kcal, barbecue sauce 19kcal, green tea 0kcal.
Total: 484kcal.

Snacks: nectarine 70kcal, diet lemonade 2kcal.
Total: 72kcal.

Exercise- 64 lengths (25m pool) took me 45 minutes! Apparently that means I burnt 335 calories. I did 32 front crawl and 32 breast stroke.
– Half an hour walk burnt 122kcal!
Total: 457kcal.

Total input: 1,024- 457= 547 input.

Yay so happy with that, bring on tomorrow!

Jessicana co

End of Day Five

Daily Updates

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Today was my worst day so far but I will not give up. I could’ve made it a lot better by eating less during the day and exercising but I wanted to recover my knee 100%. I will exercise tomorrow. The problem was it was one of my friend’s birthday and we went out for dinner at Prezzo.

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I found it hard to stick to my 1,200 food limit and hence, I was over. I’m pretty gutted, however I should continue to lose weight on this amount, just a less amount. I was quite pleased at myself for being able to keep it this low. I don’t really enjoy going out to eat and really try to avoid it at all costs, I hate the idea that food is the only thing that can bring people together. Pathetic. This is why I hate restaurant dates and will always avoid them. They also have extortionate prices on all their meals compared to making it at home with your own ingredients- a spaghetti bolognaise for £10.50, are you serious? I could make 50 spaghetti bolognaises for that price.

 Anyway, here is my update of my rubbish day of the 03/09/14 as I will continue to show all of my progress- both ups and downs:

Breakfast: nectarine 70kcal, green tea 1kcal.

Total: 71kcal.

Lunch: Blueberries 53kcal, banana 100kcal, strawberry and banana aldi smoothie 55kcal.

Total: 208kcal.

Tea: Half a Prezzo garlic bread (no cheese) 140kcal, 3/4 of a prosciutto ham and asparagus flatbread (again, no cheese) 416kcal, diet coke 0kcal.

Total: 556kcal.

Dessert: Chocolate Profiteroles 400kcal.

Total: 400kcal.

Snacks: white chocolate 60kcal, cooked ham 22kcal, mint 10kcal, cranberry juice 72kcal.

Total:164kcal.

No exercise

1.5litres water.

So, as you can see I messed up but I am not that bothered because tomorrow is a new day and I am a young woman who is going to go out for dinner every now and again and I was pretty good for ordering a zero calorie drink, sharing a garlic bread and eating less than 3/4 of my pizza as I didn’t eat the crusts- I didn’t get mozzarella on my pizza either which probably reduced about 200kcal from it.

As I was going to bed tonight, my mum said “I’m worrying about you, you’re so slim and beautiful.” I disagreed and asked why she was worrying. She said “You’ve lost weight on your face, it is looking more defined.” HALLELUJAH! If I have lost weight on my face, I am delighted. It means this diet is WORKING.

However, she is my mum and she sometimes says things like this, just to stop me from losing weight. AND there is something key she said there. I’m so ‘slim’. What is slim? It’s not fat and it’s not thin either. I HATE SLIM. It’s a stupid word and I don’t want to be it. I will continue until I am THIN. She can worry about me then.

I will weigh myself tomorrow and see what it’s like. I will also exercise.

Jessicana xo