Wow I haven’t written on this blog in so so long so I definitely owe you lot an update!
I’m currently 10 stone 9.5lbs and the wedding is 4 weeks away today. I don’t think I’m going to manage to lose enough weight to be 9 stone 13lbs as I’m going to be honest with you I’ve hit a binging wall! Every time I don’t eat very much, I binge so much the next day and eat the calories I otherwise would have lost weight on. So unfair. It got so hard and I just felt like shit so then I concentrated on trying to just eat 1400 but I can only maintain on that amount, it is very hard to lose weight. I think that might be my basal metabolic rate, or around the 1500 mark so what is the point in me trying to lose weight on that? It would take months! No one can weight that long.
I’ve decided that eating 1200 calories is hell on earth, the majority of the time unless I feel ill or extremely bloated?
I don’t really have a recent picture of my body but maybe I’ll take one soon, there’s not much change- maybe a bit of weight loss off my stomach and my legs are more muscular because I’ve been walking so much! I have been walking 10,000-15,000 steps everyday.
Anyway, I will try and post more but I can’t promise it, my degree takes over my life and living with other people makes it harder to find time to be by myself.
It has taken me real courage and strength to upload these updates and as you can see, I have had a SERIOUS bingle FILLED two days. I am seriously annoyed at myself because I have probably reversed all of my hard work for the past thirty-odd days. How/why did I do it, you might ask. Well because I have been pretty depressed recently, I had a cold and (tmi) but I was due on. These are no real excuses why I decided to 3,000 calories in one day on a sausage roll, doritos, hot chocolate, a bakewell tart for breakfast, 8 crackers throughout the day, ICE CREAM and a million raisins. The thing is, it’s already had an affect- I feel more bloated like I used to before. I’m not sure what happened, just whatever I ate/drank was not enough? I just kept going and the day after was worse because I found cake icing and ate that. So glad I’m going back to university today where if I have a binge session, it’s limited because I have hardly any food! I need to stop coming home when I’m upset too- it’s ridiculous.
Anyway, please excuse me but I’m not going to dwell on these two days as I am so ashamed and am starting off fresh today. I am going to walk 4 miles from the train station to my house to get back at myself for it. Hopefully, it will be a better day and I won’t give in to temptation like I have done for the past two days.
This is a formal apology to my body and I’m going to get back on track today! No alcohol, more fruit&veg, more water, more motivational videos and thinspo, more university work and hopefully a better body!
Today (24/09/14) was possibly one of the worst days of my life and I feel like this blog has just turned into me ranting about my life. I need to let it out somewhere though and this seems to be the best place. I was so hungover I barely did anything except sleep and eat.
Here is the update:
Breakfast: 1 Nectarine 70kcal.
Lunch: *Raspberry Crumble* Granulated sugar 160kcal, plain flour 68kcal, butter 110kcal, frozen raspberries 66kcal.
Tea: CHINESE TAKEAWAY AGAIN- Sweet and sour chicken with rice 567kcal, 3x mini spring rolls 237kcal, Onken mango and passionfruit yogurt 203kcal.
Snacks: Mini cheddars 129kcal, cherry tomatoes 20kcal, frozen sweetcorn 144kcal, jammie dodgers 150kcal.
Overall input was 1,924kcal!
AWFUL. All of this weight I’ve lost is just going to come piling back on unless I do something SOON. Tomorrow? Think I need to look at some serious thinspo.