End of Day Twenty-Seven

Daily Updates

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Hello everyone,

Today was slightly better but still not great. I am off home tomorrow so hopefully my weekend will be healthier- I am determined to make it so, after having looked at some hardcore thinspo.

Today was really hard and there were multiple times where I hate to refuse food and refuse to go into shops. In the morning my friend wanted to go into the shop for breakfast and I originally agreed, thinking I would get something too but NO my inner thin person spoke to me and refused to let me- thank goodness. She came out with 5 cookies and I didn’t even enter the store.

Secondly at lunch, my friends were craving Mcdonalds so I went into the restaurant and watched as everyone around me devoured chips and burgers and I simply ordered a cup of tea. The man behind the counter couldn’t even understand that I didn’t want any food- what the hell. Anyway, I watched her eat a cheeseburger, six chicken nuggets, chips and a chocolate milkshake- thing is, she’s skinny so where is the fairness in that? I also realised that I walked 7 miles today and am now, obviously, shattered.

Here is my update for today (25/09/14):

Breakfast: 4 Cream crackers 140kcal, marmite 9kcal, butter 72kcal, nectarine 70kcal.

Total: 291kcal. (In fairness, I ate these crackers across a four hour period)

Lunch: 1 large raw carrot 54kcal.

Total: 54kcal.

Tea: 1 Fish shop sausage 235kcal, 1 portion of chips 655kcal, mango yogurt 203kcal.

Total: 1,093kcal.

Snacks: Tea with milk 10kcal, 2 jammie dodgers 150kcal, extra strong mints 30kcal.

Total: 190kcal.

Overall input was 1,626kcal- exercise of 439kcal burnt= 1,187kcal.

Actually not too bad! I just want to only be eating that amount without having to exercise to get it down. I don’t agree with eating calories you burnt from exercise- pointless? Anyway, quite proud of how little I did eat compared to my friends! Now for some more thinspo and bed.

Jessicana xo

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Family food fights

Welcome Information

I just wanted to address something that has been running through quite a lot of my recent blogs. The fact that when I am at home, I eat so much more than I do when I’m home.hero_mom_serving_break momservingtacos woman-serving-food

This is mostly because my mum is constantly making food and giving it to me. Yesterday, she brought in my food to the lounge for me to eat and watch TV- ridiculous! She isn’t my slave? I told her it was silly and she got offended. I don’t like my mum serving me like that, especially when I saw what she had made me. White rice. Whyy? It never fills me up and makes me so bloated. I tried to eat around it but she was watching so I ate it, not wanting to.

It sounds silly but it puts me off coming home, I don’t want to eat some of the things she makes they are so unhealthy and the portion size for dinner is always the equivalent of 700 calories or more. I know she means well but I don’t want to eat 700 calories in one meal, that’s how much I would like to in one day.

Another issue I have is that the cupboards are always full, for example here are some of the foods currently less than 5 metres from me and the temptation is unreal.

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And many more! If you don’t know what these are above: Sea salt crackers, caramel bar, fondant icing (For cakes but so tasty alone), dried fruit, orange juice and halloumi cheese.

The worst thing is- I can eat ANY of these if I want, at pretty much any time. All of which will make me fat. Orange juice is the worst because I swig it disgustingly from the fridge- yup, I admit it so I need to use some aversion theory on orange juice.

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Jessicana xo